The Home

Chocolate Lab

I broke my writing-every-day resolution a second time – by getting violently ill in Brussels on Saturday, and thus spending the one day I had to roam around the city actually lying flat-out knackered in my bed, only peeking up to rid myself of bodily fluids or to check Twitter. I was too ill to even watch re-runs of Sherlock. I am never too ill to watch re-runs of Sherlock (“I could cut myself on those cheekbones.” Oh, yes, please.)

The hotel kindly sent me up four pieces of dry toast and two liters of ice-cold mineral water, not-so-kindly charging me nineteen Euro for the delivery. But the toast was very helpful, and I was still clutching two pieces of it like talismans as I boarded the plane on Sunday morning to come back home. (“No, I do not want to check my toast. I need my toast.“) We promptly sat on the tarmac for two hours while Belgium figured out how to deal with snow, and I finished sleeping – which was unfortunate because there was an eight-hour flight ahead.

During which I watched re-runs of Sherlock, so I was obviously feeling better. I also started and finished Going Clear, which was fascinating and very reminiscent of the Readers Digest and Newsweek articles about cults that I devoured in the 1970s. I arrived home with a bag of chocolates in hand, and Bernardo made us an early dinner, because it was obvious I was going to crash at around 8:30.

Which I did.

I was awakened, however, early this morning to the sounds of Bernardo scolding Mollydog. Then he came and got me. “Molly ate the chocolate.”

Yes, the only redeeming thing (besides the good work that got done) about this trip was laid to waste all over the living room floor…and the kitchen floor…and the basement floor…and in various puddles in the backyard as the morning went on. A ninety-pound black Labrador hopped up on caffeine and sugar is not something anyone should have to endure, least of all the Labrador.

Molly is fortunate that she is such a big dog, and that the chocolate was milk chocolate – her toxin level was not that high, relatively. We fed her rice and lots of water and she got herself back together in a few hours.

Somewhere in all of this, Obama got inaugurated again. It sounded wonderful.


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